The Family.....

"This generation will be called upon to defend the doctrine of the family as never before. If they don’t know the doctrine, they can’t defend it."

 --Sister Beck



If you have had a chance to read the Ensign for March, there is a great article in it from our General Relief Society President, Sister Julie B. Beck, if you haven't here is the link: http://lds.org/ensign/2011/03/teaching-the-doctrine-of-the-family?lang=eng ,I really recommend reading it.  Today as I was trying to get a few things done on the computer, a yahoo news article grabbed my attention and so I stopped to read the article.  Many of you may have heard of the'seven year slump' that is said to be the time when most marriages have the hardest time or where the most marriages end in divorce.  Well, now studies are showing that you are 'lucky' to get to the seven--because the 'three-year itch' is taking over.  While there was nothing really new or impressive in the article to me, I had a thought to read the comments below it.  Bad idea.  I made it through about ten before I told myself to stop and get out of there before the discouragement ate away at me and turned to anger.  I could not believe how trite the comments were about marriage.  Someone said that the idea of the home with the white picket fence and the kid was basically a joke, that mortgages, credit card debt, divorce and misery were all that awaited.  I thought one might be positive at the beginning, but turned out to be about divorce and returning to a first love after a 35 year absence. 

"We are preparing our youth for the temple and for eternal families. Many threats are coming to them that can discourage them from forming an eternal family. Our role in this is to teach them so they don’t misunderstand."

--Sister Beck

Suddenly, Sister Beck's article seemed so much more powerful.  Oh, the importance of teaching our future generations about the importance, the joy, the sacredness of marriage and family.  As someone who grew up in the church and thought I knew the importance of those things, I still wanted to put a education, mission, and career before marriage and family.  Thank heavens the Lord knew what I needed.  I used to go to the first day of a college class and listen to the girls introduced themselves, "Hi, I am so and so and I am majoring in (whatever), but I don't know if I will ever use my degree, because I really just want to be a wife and mother."  And, I, in my stubborness would think, "Really, so you are just here shopping for a husband?  "  I was very critical, because I thought I knew what I wanted and was determined to do just that--I remember Coach Walker telling me at the end of my senior year that I would be married in a year and being somewhat furious and bound and determined to prove him wrong (He was Grant and I's first home teacher after we were married--a year and a HALF after graduation ;) ).  But, when it came to it, I tried to be in tune with the Lord, and I knew that marriage was an important decision--I didn't want to look back some day and say--well, I never knew for sure if it was right or not.  So, I fasted and prayed and over the years there have been many bumps, some larger than others--but, I had gained my answer and knew that come what may, this is where I was supposed to be.  So, when I look back, I am humbled by my attitude about such an importnat role.  And through those years I also learned that the choice to marry and have a family was the best I ever made--I can't imagine having passed it up, or put it on hold any longer, even when somedays it takes everything just to survive it. ;) 

"The story of Isaac and Rebekah is an example of the man, who has the keys, and the woman, who has the influence, working together to ensure the fulfillment of their blessings. Their story is pivotal. The blessings of the house of Israel depended on a man and a woman who understood their place in the plan and their responsibilities to form an eternal family, to bear children, and to teach them."

--Sister Beck

I also try to teach my children the importance of them being parents someday--once the thought of a girly daughter who loved pink was intimidating to me, since I was somewhat of a tomboy--but even then I dragged my dolls out to play in the dirt, and I am trying to encourage her to do the same--let her follow me when I clean, even though it is sometimes so much more work--let all of them take a turn adding ingredients when I bake...let them be part of a family and know the joy that comes from it.  We all have different homes, different challenges, different ways we do things, but there is one thing that must be the same--we must be teaching our children the gospel, we msut be showing future generations how important marriage and family are.  Sometimes it seems hard to balance--we are encouraged to pursue education in case we need to fall back on it, we are challenged to be the best at all we do, to compete in a man's world and home-making is no longer placed at the height of honorable work, but if we who know it's eternal importance, don't share that with our children, then it will continue to lose imortance in our society.

"Live in your home so that you’re brilliant in the basics, so that you’re intentional about your roles and responsibilities in the family. Think in terms of precision not perfection. If you have your goals and you are precise in how you go about them in your homes, youth will learn from you. They will learn that you pray, study the scriptures together, have family home evening, make a priority of mealtimes, and speak respectfully of your marriage partner. Then from your example the rising generation will gain great hope."

--Sister Beck

Don't you just love that last bit?  It's not about being perfect, it's about being our best in the areas the Lord has asked us--and He wouldn't ask us if He didn't know we could.

Sister Perkins